Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Adam Lambert Has Run-in With Entertainment Correspondent In Driveway

Biggest Leeker entertainment correspondent Papz Amir seized a long awaited photo opportunity as American Idol Season 8 runner-up Adam Lambert, who is openly gay, was believed to be leaving for the afternoon taping of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

Prior to Lambert’s departure, several delivery vehicles arrived at Lambert’s home. One appeared to be delivering exercise equipment, a second contained home saunas, and a third from “Blue Ivy Organic Nursery”. A web search has since revealed one of the owners of the Blue Ivy Nursery as Beyonce, who has just launched a home growing kit for mushrooms rumored to have hallucinogenic effects.

A fourth van entered the property branded with the words “Alternative Hole Foods” on its side panels and SPLOSH on a custom license plate. Our correspondent interviewed Harry Reardon, a co-owner of the company. Reardon described their food products as newly available for home use after previously being limited to clinical trials.

Reardon said, "Folks who don’t like the taste of healthy food choices can self-administer 'Alternative Hole Foods' rectally."

"Many of our clients are subjected to limited food choices on airplanes, and face sabotaged diet plans due to unhealthy snacking. Our research compelled us to satisfy this demand for a unique, quick, and healthy nutrition option."

Reardon also spilled that Lambert volunteered to evaluate their newest product line called “Craqs”, the equivalent of a quick snack. Reardon continued explaining that full entrees can take up to 9 minutes to administer, and “Craqs” require only 4 minutes.

He also noted with enthusiasm, the perfect fit "Craqs" has with today’s busy lifestyle. For customers who prefer the 'green' lifestyle, the products are packaged with completely disposable, bio-degradable, and flushable materials.  Reardon denied any rumor that Lambert would be endorsing the products but noted that Lambert was anxious to give them a try on his flight overseas in a few weeks.

Lambert, who is currently promoting his newly released single, “Better Than I Know Myself” and upcoming album, “Trespassing”, attempted to leave his residence in a beige Ford Focus. Before the vehicle departed it was momentarily blocked by the "Alternative Hole Foods" truck.

Our correspondent, Papz Amir, was summoned over to Lambert’s vehicle after taking some pictures but remains mum on what Lambert whispered to him and has not submitted any photos.

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