Saturday, May 23, 2015

Adam Lambert sings "moooooo"

Adam Lambert shows fan love by subliminally implanting a "Moo-Code" into his newest song, "Another Lonely Night", now available on hiTunes.

Every ear perked up in a subdivision of the Glamberts when they heard what they describe as a "mating call", said a member of the herd who calls herself "Beau Vine".  The "Sparkle Cows", as they jokingly call themselves, are a group of Adam Lambert fans who are old(er), chubbier and like to dress up, but feel like they are not wanted at Lambert's appearances, especially at radio stations that target a younger, gay male demographic.  Lambert is openly gay.

With every one of Lambert's album releases, Beau Vine said the cows feel more and more disaffected.  She went on to say that some of the Sparkle Cows were especially enraged when new marching orders asked them to stay home and stay off of social media as Lambert’s first single, "Ghost Town”, was released.  ( 

Beau Vine reported the cows breathed a sigh of relief when they heard the "Moo-Code" within the lyrics of “Another Lonely Night” that Adam did indeed still love them.  But when Lambert was asked about the "moo" in an interview, he played coy and said the trippy noise was added by the sound people.  This led Biggest Leeker researchers to Sweden where Lambert wrote and recorded much of his album, "The Original High".

A source at the recording studio where Lambert, Max Martini and Spellburg produced several of the tracks explained that just like in animated films where an artist likes to "tag" his work with subliminal messages, sound people try to sneak in their own messages into songs.  But our anonymous source shared that Lambert himself requested the special sound, making sure it was engineered so that his faithful cows would hear it loud and clear.  The entire team accompanied Lambert on a field trip to Sweden’s countryside to listen carefully to cows in order to duplicate their soothing sound.

In a related case, based on complaints that the fan packages for "The Original High" didn't have larger sizes available, Lambert's marketing firm announced that due to high demand, special merchandise would be available before his next tour, which reportedly is being planned for 2016-ish. 
Pre-orders are being taken for the following items:

Glam MooMoo- From plus size designer Iva Givens Uppah, this cow print, tie-dyed, black and white top is "one size fits all" and is made from really stretchy cotton/spandex and randomly embellished with rhinestones.
$169.95 + shipping and extra handling

Moo Shoes- Made from the finest leather, the 4" black platform shoes make it easier to see for cows who had to settle for second row seats.  Available in even sizes 8-14, wide width only.
$169.95 + shipping and extra handling

Sparkle Cow Bell- Plated in sterling silver, the cow bell is engraved with "More cow bell".  For an additional $20 there is enough room to add your Glambert or Sparkle Cow number.  Note:  Before your bell is engraved, your number will be verified by a moderator at Adam’s official site.
$169.95 + shipping and extra handling

Disclaimer: Biggest Leeker is 100% fake news exclusively about Adam Lambert and is proud to be the only fake news site dedicated exclusively to one artist.


  1. I don't know where you got the idea that this is witty - it's not. It's just insulting, as are all of your other posts. I can't imagine why you keep tweeting this garbage to Adam, it's not funny - it's embarrassing.

  2. Mean spirited and not worth the space it takes up on the Internet. Sounds like it was written by a teen who is into bullying. And worse yet, not even funny.

  3. Humour is a very individual thing as evidenced by the previous comments, but all I can say is that this made me moo out loud!