Thursday, January 29, 2015

Adam Lambert new album "The Original Sin" track list leeked

The Original Sin

Cuts from Adam Lambert’s new album, due out in the Frummer, have been leeked.  A man claiming to be close to the openly gay American Idol runner-up contacted Biggest Leeker’s London office saying he would reveal the track list but requested anonymity. 

The man is quoted as saying, “My son sent me an email with snippets of some tracks, wanting me to give my opinion.”

Here is a sampling of some of the tracks even though the final cuts haven’t been made.  Apparently there will be nine different versions for different regions, each having different bonus tracks.

ORIGINAL SIN:  The title track is about the alleged first fuck between Eve and Adam.  Yes, my son is vain enough to think it was him in a past life.

NINE COMMANDMENTS: God took off the one about adultery.  We should love everyone as much as possible.

SNAKE BITE:  I think Adam is looking for a reason to get out the vampire teeth.  The snake is a euphemism for a penis.  That should be obvious.

PAIN IN THE ASS:  I think it’s about RCA’s sabotage of his last album but Adam says it’s about anal sex with someone with a nine inch penis.  Again, he’s vain enough to think it’s all about him.

FREDDIE:  Although no one can replace Freddie Mercury, Adam decided he would write this tribute and sing it using his best British accent.  Cheeky chap he is.

GLAM IS NOT DEAD:  Adam gets nostalgic and delusional.  It died with disco, both times.

STAYING:  No, it’s not a cover of “Stay” but about his ability to last 45 minutes.  He always bites off more than he can chew.

BODY LANGUAGE:  Finally a cover song on his album.  The video is supposed to feature film clips of Queen showing off their naked bodies.  No shots of Adam showing anything.  Sorry Glamgolia.  But he did say he was naked when he recorded the song in the studio, but everyone had to check their phones at the door.  He wanted the song to sound authentic.

RED STAINS:  The color for the album will feature red.  He started to explain what the red stains are from and I got too freaked out to place it in permanent memory.

FEATHERS AND RHINESTONES:  It’s about fetishes.  Since Adam is pretty vanilla, he got help from the cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race, especially his friend Sutan.

CONSERVATIVE THINKING:  For some reason Adam embraces his right-wing conservative fans because they are the ones who have all the money to spend on his stuff.  I hate conservatives.  I lump them all together because they are all the same.  Is that so wrong?  But he writes this song about embracing and loving everyone.  I think he just wants to piss me off.

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