Thursday, February 16, 2012

Biggest Leeker Presented with Prestigious Award

Biggest Leeker was presented with the prestigious “Rumer Mills Memorial Award” at a ceremony on Sunday in Toronto.

The annual award was given to Biggest Leeker for outstanding news leek reporting. Biggest Leeker won the award in the “Individual Celebrity” category for their Adam Lambert news leeks, which can be seen on their web site, The award is in memory of Rumer Mills who was a young freelance photographer that was run over by Sonny Bono’s chauffeur while trying to capture a rare photo of the singer turned politician. 

Phillip Byrd, managing partner for Lambert’s public relations firm, “Phillip Morris Moore”, granted Biggest Leeker a coveted interview slot with Lambert after hearing about the award win.

Lambert, who is openly gay and finished as runner-up on Season 8 of American Idol is currently in New York City catching some Broadway shows and doing regional promotions for his upcoming album, “Trespassing”.

Although not a fan of Mr.Lambert, Mia Newcomer, a quickly hired intern who needed journalism credits, met with Lambert yesterday for the interview.

Byrd filmed the meeting for future PR use and provided a transcript.


Mia Newcomer (MN): So you’re Adam Lambert?

Adam Lambert (AL): Yah, nice to meet you. I like your jacket. I love jackets.

MN: What’s with your jacket? I swear every picture I see of you you’re wearing that same jacket.

AL: Awe. I like this one. It’s one of my favorites. It’s so comfy.

MN: OK, enough with the chit chat. I look at you and all I see is my 3 college credits. To be honest, I never really liked you. I was a huge fan of Danny Gokey. In fact, I think he would have been in the finale but they already had Queen booked assuming you would be the winner. So speaking of Queen, I guess you got your dream job replacing Mercury?

AL: Awe. I was a fan of Danny too. He’s really talented. And so down to earth and honest. But as far as Queen is concerned, Brian and Roger, they are so down to earth, they expressed a desire to work together back on the Idol finale and I was so honored

MN: We know. We know. So when do you start? I bet a lot of Queen fans are pissed.

AL: Well, I promised to keep it a secret. You will hear soon...ish.

MN: OK, so I really know nothing about you to do this interview and I only had a day to prepare. So I scoured your fan sites and checked out your Twitter feed to see what your “Glamberts” wanna know. What I really found out is you have the stupidest fans ever. I saw someone on your Twitter feed asking you if your Finnish boyfriend, Sauili Moreskinin* has his foreskin. I mean, what the actual fuck? And they talk about your crotch. Then they want to touch your hair. Idiots.

AL: Awe, I love my Glamberts. They are so dedicated and passionate. If it weren’t for them I wouldn’t even have a second album. I spent the last year

MN: So since he’s not American, I assume he has his foreskin?

AL: Of course! So I spent the last year touring and I really got a feel for who my audi

MN: So now that we know that you take your coffee with Half & Half and sweetener, the obvious question is what color sweetener packet do you prefer, the pink, blue, yellow or the green?

AL: That’s kind of personal. I’ll just keep it a mystery for now. Actually my album, called “Trespassing”, kind of lets my fans know a lot more about me. It lifts the veil so to speak. The first half of the songs are dance, funk, kind of 90s club

MN: So what’s the release date?

AL: We are working on some last minute details and right now we are looking at a possible date in April…ish.

MN: Are you kidding me? Just yesterday I read it was March 20th. I mean, what the actual fuck?

AL: I want it to be perfect. Trust me, it will be worth the wait. I am the executive producer and I am doing the art direction on all the

MN: Yah I heard. Can you say “control freak”?

AL: I know I know. But my first album was done in like 2 months while I was on tour and

MN: OK, let’s move on. Here’s a good one. Regarding toilet paper, are you a scruncher or a folder?

AL: (Laughs and winces) Really? Where did you find that question? Next?

MN: So after your wakeup call in a Finnish jail, you’ve decided to live a healthier lifestyle. Let’s say we make this different than the other 50 times you’ve answered this ridiculous question. Tell me your bad habit and tell me what you replaced it with. AND don’t say the word “juice”. I had to listen to hours of YouTube interviews and all I hear is “juice, juicing, juice cleanse”. I mean, what the actual fuck?

AL: Yah, the Universe does send wake-up calls. And I admit we’ve become one of Hollywood’s most boring couples. Let’s see, gone are “Marijuana Mondays”. They have been replaced with mango juice… Oh that’s right I can’t say juice. Sorry. “Taco and Tequila Tuesdays” have been replaced with Tuesday breakfast burritos and avocado Juice. Damn it I said it again. “Whip Me Wednesdays” are now just Wednesday workouts that begin with a juice cleanse. Oh I said it again. We used to refer to Thursdays as “Thumbs Up Our Butts Thursdays” because we would just sit around the house and plan our weekend. Now Thursdays are for grocery shopping. We don’t even have cool names for our days any more. We really are boring. The weekends have really changed. “Freaky Fridays”, “Saturday Sploshing” that’s how we got rid of leftovers, and “Slumping Sundays”... Did you know that Absolut Vodka used to sponsor our weekends? Now we enjoy watching TV and preparing our own food. Eating in restaurants can really pack

MN: Gee, look at the time. I didn’t even get a chance to ask what happened to that beige Ford Focus you won on Idol. I suppose you donated it to some charity auction?

AL: I never had a beige Ford anything. They let us pick out anything we

MN: Whatever. Got enough to get my credits.

AL: (Stands up and reaches for Mia’s hand to help her up) It was really nice to meet you. It’s been fun.

MN: Wow, you’re so tall. I guess I always assume that gay guys are all little twerps.

AL: I’m actually 6’1”, plus 6” of hair, 3” heels

MN: Mmmmm, you smell good. What scent are you wearing?

AL: I made it myself in our new juicer. (Giggles) I guess I do say juice a lot.

MN: (Looks him up and down) Love those jeans. They fit nice too. (Giggles) I just noticed you have freckles on your lips. Oh my God! Can I have a hug?

AL: Of course.


*Editor’s Note: Several spellings of Lambert’s boy toy have been used by the press. Since Lambert did confirm that Sauli’s foreskin is intact, we are using the spelling “Moreskinin”.

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