Saturday, March 31, 2012

Adam Lambert Sex Tape Surfaces

Sex starved and horny Glamberts’ wish has been granted. An Adam Lambert sex tape has surfaced. Although only 45 seconds long and about 9 years old, the fuzzy videotape has been authenticated. Lambert was the runner-up on the eighth season of American Idol and is openly gay.


Liza Little, an Old Compton street drag queen and alleged Bordsteinschwalbe from her Berlin years, phoned Biggest Leeker’s London branch office where he explained to our receptionist, Ann Surring, that he is angry and wants to set the record straight after seeing a Tweet that indicated Lambert could last 45 minutes.


Papz Amir, our political and entertainment correspondent, met with Liza Little to obtain a copy of the videotape and get the back story. Previously, Lambert said that he never made a sex tape. Liza and Amir met at Die Busche the same bar where she met Lambert 9 years ago and shared the following story:


“Lambert, introduced himself as ‘Maggie Longfellow’. He said he was there with some of the cast and crew of 'HARE.’ She (Maggie/Adam) towered above the others. She wore a Bohemian tie dyed outfit, white Afro wig - oooo baby! - and purple pumps with 4” heels. I could sense this may have been punkin's first time out draggin it. Girl, had no grace in heels... sorry to say and .... (Liza shakes her whole body then licks her lips) he was spilln’ outta that tuck. I was attracted to him immediately! I asked him where he found pumps in such a big size. He told me he was playing hooky in the props room of the theatre then laughed about them being hard - - - to walk in."


"He was so huge , so awkward, yet irresistibly cute."


"I was almost giddy, we didn’t chat for long when I asked him to come home with me. I offered him a cocktail ... it was an excuse to go behind the bar and turn on my video camera. I don’t tape all of my customers, but that clingy frock was starting to look dishy and I thought this may be a one off for my record book."


Liza, told Leeker, the whole encounter lasted all of 45 seconds and was adorably awkward.


Recently Liza read an article that revealed Adam Lambert's porn name was Maggie Longfellow.


"You should have heard me gasp!" squealed Liza. "His (Lambert’s) black hair threw me off until I saw pictures of that freckled face after searching the internet. I immediately recognized my "Little Cuckoo" - that was a pet name I chose for his - well you know - his bell and bollocks, but that's him!  MY Maggie Longfellow!  And honey, I left no video tape unturned as I hunted for my 45 second nugget." 


Amir asked why Liza chose to reveal the tape now and why he chose Biggest Leeker when there are so many other tabloids that would have paid a huge sum for the video. Liza explained that it is not money but simply revenge and a duty to reveal the truth.


"I get so cheesed off!" Liza said with a flip of her hair. "Adam's boyfriend (Finnish reality star Sauli Moreskinin) looks like a fun size chap who's probably getting...... (Liza pauses)......well I'm just not buying that Lambert can last 45 minutes. It was on Twitter you know."


Liza paused and seemed to feign a teary-eyed moment, then regained composure and said, “I thought we had something special even though it was only 45 sexy seconds.”


Biggest Leeker asked Liza about the 45 sex-onds being well worth it. Liza spun around and quipped, "Watch the tape deary and you tell me. TTFN!"


Scroll to see exclusive video below.


 


 


 


 


 


 


8 comments:

  1. Never really understood why people thought this site was clever and funny. But this article has really tipped over the edge. This is no longer satire. This is just nasty bullshit. It's not even remotely funny and there are a lot of people who will think this is real - especially because it's not funny and you have some fake video attached. Are you trying to harm Adam?

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  2. LOL, people chill out! You know it's April Fool's Day, right?

    Get a grip.

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  3. this blog was posted on 03/31/2012 NOT april fools day

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  4. What a bunch of crap!!!

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  5. Adam Lambert Sex Tape Surfaces
    Posted by BiggestLeeker | 04/01/2012

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  6. Is this all you got?..so what if even true,people do have sex when they are in the twenties..almost 10 years ago and someone video tapes you without knowing about it,what a creep!!...he should be arrested and this site should be ashamed of themselves for having this on here,you are worse than the creep with a hidden camera...ADAM LAMBERT will be just fine and that is more i can say for this site and the low life with a hidden camera from 10 years..shame on both of you!,both of you are nothing but sleaze balls of the first order!

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  7. Surely the cuckoo clock confirms the authenticity of the high quality video. Liza Little must be telling us the truth ;)

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  8. i love you adam lambert u are my favorrite sing i sing to you all the time when i go to bed and when i go the school i realy miss u i hope u give me back stage passes when u come to edmonton plzzz you are the best and tommy joe raffie is really cool and hot to not like u you are the sexies man on earth love kourtny glambert <3

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