Adam Lambert to front KISS for US tour

Drinking and drugs have finally taken their toll on the current members of KISS, so much so that they are unable to sing at the level their loyal fans have come to expect.

Enter Adam Lambert!

Because the cover story was written months ago, there is no mention in Rolling Stone of the openly gay American Idol runner-up joining the iconic group.  Lambert will be taking his rightful place fronting another iconic group, QUEEN, for a North American tour beginning June 19th and then join KISS for the last leg of their 2014 tour in August. 

Lambert first met the members of KISS and QUEEN when he performed with them on the American Idol Season 8 finale.  Lambert has said that he was finally able to show his full "glam" self once the voting on Idol was over when he sang with KISS dressed in 6" glittery platform boots, head to toe leather, shoulder cages and rhinestones glued to his eyelids.  Although both groups offered Lambert jobs after the epic finale, he had his own promising career to launch but promised to stay in contact.

Lambert is currently working on his third studio album that has now been delayed into early 2015.  Although lyrics were leeked on the eve of April Fool's Day, Lambert did share that his latest effort will be the most surreal, down-to-earth, honest, post gay mix of genres to date.  A source close to Lambert says that he is struggling to please all his fans who are begging for everything from more rock to more covers to more electronic dance music.  Lambert just finished a stint on Glee where he played Elliott "Starchild" Gilbert and is entertaining an offer for a spinoff where the current New York City cast moves back to Elliott's home town of Paramus, NJ where Kurt, Rachel, Santana and Elliott open a Karaoke bar inside one of the Paramus malls.

It is not certain whether current ticket holders for the August concert dates can request a refund.  Until confirmation is obtained, ticket holders are urged to contact the Glamberts to possibly purchase the tickets as it is reported they will "buy anything".

Adam Lambert Launches New Recording Label OMG

Openly gay American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert is expected to announce tomorrow that he is launching his own recording label called “OMG”. 

OMG has initially signed several independent artists and will record, produce and distribute Lambert’s new album.  Another new company, UNF was set up to create and distribute any related merchandise associated with OMG’s artists.   

Set for release no sooner than January 1, 2014, Lambert’s new album is tentatively called “iSon”, and is inspired by the comet Ison which is expected to create plasma dragons in the sky.  Since Lambert is known as a “Glittery alien from Planet Fierce”, he is promising to bring back the glitter and glam that so many of his Glamberts missed with his last album, “Trespassing”.  

Lambert also adds that he enjoyed working as a DJ on Ellen and collaborating with Avicii and has decided to do some additional remixing under the name “T-Werk”.  His first project is to bring the song “20th Century Boy” into the 21st century.  

Official confirmation is expected that OMG has signed “Nile Rivers”, an indie band that is said to have the musical gravitas of Nile Rodgers and the sophistication of Joan Rivers.  Also rumored to have signed is parody artist Smiley Serious, the youngest daughter of Weird Al Yankonit.  

It was visible that Lambert was excited about another project.  Expected to be finished in time to compete with the Super Bowl half-time show featuring Lambert’s nemesis, Bruno Mars, Lambert and OMG plan to collaborate with longtime friends Will Cherry and Madonna Pittman to produce a spectacle similar to “The Zodiac Show” called “Cockroaches on Uranus”.

SPOILER ALERT! Adam Lambert's role on GLEE leeked

Demi Lovalatio, a disgruntled fluffer on the set of GLEE, contacted Biggest Leeker’s office and disclosed the details of Adam Lambert’s role on the popular show, now filming its sixth season.

Lovalatio was busy trying to get Lambert, the openly gay runner-up from American Idol’s eighth season, ready for his opening scene and became angry when Lambert declared that he didn’t need her help to prepare.  Lovalatio was promised a small singing part with Lambert if he enjoyed working with her.  Lovalatio is a huge fan of Lambert and said she was more excited for this opportunity than she was to work with a big purple dinosaur. 

Lovalatio contacted Biggest Leeker’s office shortly after being escorted off the GLEE set in New York City.

Lovalatio revealed that because of Lambert’s creativity, the producers of GLEE came up with the concept of Lambert’s character, Shane Sheldon, to own a food truck, but allowed Lambert to decide on its design and what food(s) it would sell.  The food truck parks near the apartment shared by Rachel, Santana and Kurt. And like many Broadway wannabes in New York City, Shane needs several sources income to make ends meet.  So when the food truck closes after the lunch rush, Shane gives singing lessons in the rear of the truck.  Lambert, never missing an opportunity to be a little naughty, decided to sell sausages.  Lambert said that he enjoys the look, feel and smell of the sausage varieties. The truck business, “Shane Sheldon’s Sausages” sells keilbasi sandwiches, hot dogs and Italian hot sausages that are all guaranteed to be at least nine inches long.  Originally he planned to have a juice truck, but New Yorker’s don’t have the same love for liquid kale as Californians, so he thought it wouldn’t be believable.

Lovalatio continues to spill more details of Lambert’s opening scene.  Kurt visits Shane’s food truck the first day it arrives and sees that the menu includes singing lessons.  Noticing that his sausage was only six inches, Kurt asks for a singing lesson instead of the usual “gurarantee”. During the session Kurt and Shane come up with a perfect jingle for Shane’s business.  The catchy jingle will be available on MyToons and the single will be released for charity.  Lambert chose the charity “Vegan Vagabonds” as they provide meat to children of vegans and vegetarians who chose to escape the meatless lifestyle unfairly imposed on them.  Some New Yorkers are upset that a large percentage of the funds will end up in California instead of staying in New York.  In a related story, students back at McKinley High organize a sit-in-sing-a-thon to protest the school’s policy of banning food trucks from school property.

Lovalatio says she isn’t taking her dismissal sitting down and is in discussions with another network to create a reality show where she gives voice lessons out of a food truck.

Adam Lambert and Clay Aiken "Burn it Up" Together

Suspicious about the timing of pictures showing a shirtless Adam Lambert, Glamberts and Claymates will soon have the opportunity to purchase professional naked pictures.

Fans of the openly gay, American Idol runners up are begging to see their "Zeus in a Thong" and sexy "Sir Robin" naked. So the pair decided to team up for "Cray of Light", a charity they created, to provide safe sunbathing education and sunscreen products to freckled gingers and other fair skinned gay males in the world's hottest and sunniest areas.

The charity photo campaign called "Ginger Snaps" has Aiken and Lambert appearing naked together and separately in "tastefully edited" photographs that will be available for sale.  

Recently getting burned, Clay Aiken reached out to Adam Lambert, a fellow ginger, to get advice on how to keep from getting sunburned.  Lambert, being no stranger to getting burned commiserated with Aiken about his inability to fully enjoy some rays, and is usually seen on the hottest of days covering every inch of skin.

A few details have been leeked by James Blond, an intern and nephew of New York designers David and Phillipe Blond, who was a stylist for the photo shoot.  He said being a stylist for a naked photo shoot had its challenges, but Aiken and Lambert were up for it.  Blond shared a story about Lambert posing with an inflatable toy boat when Lambert joked, "We're gonna need a bigger boat". Aiken was having trouble walking after his most recent sun exposure where he burned his most sensitive area, the bottoms of his feet.  Lambert shared a tip, to wear knee high boots on the beach.  He said they also keep the sand out of your toes and protect your pedicure.

Blond spilled that a special collection of revealing poses will be autographed and auctioned.  Blond also joked that this will be one time fans will wish the pictures were not signed as the autographs cleverly cover some never seen skin.

Also, to introduce "Glambaik" a line of high end sunscreen (SPF69) products that also benefit the charity, West Hollywood wedding planner Mary Mitamoro is staging a nude beach "wedding" which is scheduled to take place at an undisclosed location.  Rumors have surfaced that Lambert and Aiken are planning to do a duet, unless it was misunderstood and are planning to "do it".

Choice seats directly in front and in back of Adam and Clay are already commanding thousands of dollars on ScalpMasters.com.  Listen for an official announcement about the photographs and auction on iHateRadio.

Weird Al Yankonit parodies Adam Lambert's "Trespassing"

Weird Al Yankonit, the latest celebrity to come out of the closet, is ready to release his first big gay dance album. Inspired by Adam Lambert’s “TRESPASSING”, Yankonit’s parody mocks Lambert’s obsession with sex and food. Refer often to the Urban Dictionary. Titled “TRESPLOSHING”, here are the descriptions of each track:

1. TRESPLOSHING) The title track is Yankonit calling Lambert out for continuing to say that he is “vanilla” because gay sex, as Yankonit has recently learned, is anything but “vanilla”, and is at the very least kind of a “fudge swirl.” This hand clapping, fist pumping romp will have everyone asking for some extra hot fudge.



2. COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO) This “rooster” kind of tastes like chicken once you add some hot gravy. Written about Lambert's boyfriend Sauli Moreskinin, a huge “cock-a-doodle-doo” sung in unison, penetrates an otherwise dark song.



3. SHADEN) Just when you thought S&M music was all starting to sound the same, the opening of this song will have you digging out the whips and the whipped cream. This one is a hot, sticky mess.



4. NEVER FROZE OUR PIES) Written by Bruno Mars it confirms his love for pie, both fruit and cream. The apple should be eaten at room temperature while the cream should be chilled, but never frozen. Save that for the fudge swirl ice cream.



5. LICKIN’ IN) Also known as “The Lollypop Song”, it’s about Lambert and Moreskinin’s first encounter in Helsinki. There is a surprise Tootsie Roll in the middle of the song, adding to the sticky mess of this album.



6. CAKED LOVE) This is what happens when you get a little high and go home alone. The a capella solo features some new lows we’ve never heard before from Yankonit.



7. POP THAT WOK) What is sploshing without a kinky Eastern twist? Heat up the sesame oil and throw on some vegetables. The crunchy veggies are best served on a soft bed of steamed rice. This is one of the healthier selections on an album that is divided with one side being about healthy choices and the other about junk.



8. BATTER THAT I THROW ON MYSELF) If you take chocolate fudge cake and mix it with golden vanilla, you get the perfect mix, marble. Personally, I like something with a little more texture and spice. This one slips in and slips out pretty quick.



9. BROKEN ENGLISH MUFFIN) Lambert’s tale of having sex with a woman. And who would have guessed? It happened in England. You can feel the butter dripping into the tiny crevices.  This is the one song that just doesn't fit on such a big, gay dance album.



10. WONDERWHEAT) It’s the healthiest and sexiest way to get your daily fiber to keep everything sliding nicely through the digestive track.  I would best describe this as a  big, gay mash-up of Stevie Wonder and Buckwheat.



11. ARTICHOKEHOLD) Dip it into butter and sink your teeth into this evil looking vegetable with its prickly leaves and flowering head.



12. INLAWS OF LOVE) A Christmas visit to meet the rest of the Moreskinin family inspired this song that’s all about the meat balls and other Finnish favorites.



13. RUNNIN’) This bone ass track is only found on the US release as no other country has embraced “juicing” like they have in California. The juice cleanses and gay sex go hand in hand, but we warn you though that beets and kale can leave some stains to explain





What? No leeks? They’re the perfect size and shape, crunchy and juicy. I guess we will release our own single. Leeks are so underrated.

Bruno Mars' and Adam Lambert's "Never Close Our Eyes" Music Video Details Leeked

Fans of Grammy Award winner Bruno Mars and American Idol Season 8 runner-up Adam Lambert, will be thrilled to know that details of the music video for the much anticipated next single “Never Close Our Eyes” have been leeked.

Georgio Romeo (Knight of the Dead and Dawnriders) has been tapped by Lambert to direct the music video. Romeo contacted a movie props rental company to order needed items and couldn’t help but spill some details to the representative. The rep, who only wishes to be identified as a Glambert, told his story: 

"Mr. Romeo is a regular client. He said he was contacted by Adam Lambert to help with the creative vision for his latest music video. He (Romeo) said Adam was very candid about being a huge fan of videos like Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ and Madonna’s ‘Bedtime Story’ and also really likes vampires."

“I was so excited!" the Glambert, wearing heavy theatrical makeup himself, continued, "For me personally, I can’t wait til Halloween to see what creative costume Adam will come up with. And every year it’s been a vampire. So he (Romeo) said he wanted to add a zombie twist on the lyrics of “Never Close Our Eyes.” It will be similar to the “If I Had You” video with all of Adam’s friends participating and will take place in a cemetery instead of the woods."

 Evidently, our source was given even more juicy details from Romeo.

Our Glambert was overwhelmed in excitement as he spoke. "In a symbolic move, Adam will bury a bucket of glitter and also, to my horror, will bury his leather lace crotch pants. Then, Adam, as well as half of the zombies, will be wearing Italian designer suits. Renting 25 Italian designer suits is what brought Mr. Romero into our place. Believe me, he already has more plastic tombstones than anyone I know."

As reported by many sources, Adam performed the song “Trespassing” on the NewNowNext Awards. Biggest Leeker picked up on an unsubstantiated story that after Adam had a few drinks he promised his drag queen friends that they could be in his video.

Do you think Bruno Mars, who wrote the latest song, will make a cameo appearance as well? Maybe so, but the Biggest Leeker thinks you might not recognize him as we are betting he’ll be in drag too.

 

EDITOR'S NOTE:  One of our readers pointed out an obvious omission from the above story.  We at BiggestLeeker.com apologize for any confusion as the omission of the fact that "Adam Lambert is openly gay" clearly changes the whole story. Our writers have been carefully screened and the stories have been proofread, but this one slipped by us.  The writer of this story will be reprimanded, but since Sum Young Kyd is an intern and is working for free, we are going to keep him on our staff.

Adam Lambert Sex Tape Surfaces

Sex starved and horny Glamberts’ wish has been granted. An Adam Lambert sex tape has surfaced. Although only 45 seconds long and about 9 years old, the fuzzy videotape has been authenticated. Lambert was the runner-up on the eighth season of American Idol and is openly gay.

Liza Little, an Old Compton street drag queen and alleged Bordsteinschwalbe from her Berlin years, phoned Biggest Leeker’s London branch office where he explained to our receptionist, Ann Surring, that he is angry and wants to set the record straight after seeing a Tweet that indicated Lambert could last 45 minutes.

Papz Amir, our political and entertainment correspondent, met with Liza Little to obtain a copy of the videotape and get the back story. Previously, Lambert said that he never made a sex tape. Liza and Amir met at Die Busche the same bar where she met Lambert 9 years ago and shared the following story:

“Lambert, introduced himself as ‘Maggie Longfellow’. He said he was there with some of the cast and crew of 'HARE.’ She (Maggie/Adam) towered above the others. She wore a Bohemian tie dyed outfit, white Afro wig - oooo baby! - and purple pumps with 4” heels. I could sense this may have been punkin's first time out draggin it. Girl, had no grace in heels... sorry to say and .... (Liza shakes her whole body then licks her lips) he was spilln’ outta that tuck. I was attracted to him immediately! I asked him where he found pumps in such a big size. He told me he was playing hooky in the props room of the theatre then laughed about them being hard - - - to walk in."

"He was so huge , so awkward, yet irresistibly cute."

"I was almost giddy, we didn’t chat for long when I asked him to come home with me. I offered him a cocktail ... it was an excuse to go behind the bar and turn on my video camera. I don’t tape all of my customers, but that clingy frock was starting to look dishy and I thought this may be a one off for my record book."

Liza, told Leeker, the whole encounter lasted all of 45 seconds and was adorably awkward.

Recently Liza read an article that revealed Adam Lambert's porn name was Maggie Longfellow.

"You should have heard me gasp!" squealed Liza. "His (Lambert’s) black hair threw me off until I saw pictures of that freckled face after searching the internet. I immediately recognized my "Little Cuckoo" - that was a pet name I chose for his - well you know - his bell and bollocks, but that's him!  MY Maggie Longfellow!  And honey, I left no video tape unturned as I hunted for my 45 second nugget." 

Amir asked why Liza chose to reveal the tape now and why he chose Biggest Leeker when there are so many other tabloids that would have paid a huge sum for the video. Liza explained that it is not money but simply revenge and a duty to reveal the truth.

"I get so cheesed off!" Liza said with a flip of her hair. "Adam's boyfriend (Finnish reality star Sauli Moreskinin) looks like a fun size chap who's probably getting...... (Liza pauses)......well I'm just not buying that Lambert can last 45 minutes. It was on Twitter you know."

Liza paused and seemed to feign a teary-eyed moment, then regained composure and said, “I thought we had something special even though it was only 45 sexy seconds.”

Biggest Leeker asked Liza about the 45 sex-onds being well worth it. Liza spun around and quipped, "Watch the tape deary and you tell me. TTFN!"

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