Is the Glambulge Shrinking?

Adam Lambert, runner-up of American Idol season 8, just announced he will reprise his performance with the iconic band Queen at this summer's Sonisphere in Knebworth, UK. Currently, Lambert is in the UK for media promotion of his upcoming album “Trespassing”, due out sometime.

Lambert, who is openly gay, was spotted entering the office of Dr. Carl “Curlie” Bush, London's highest profile urologist. Biggest Leeker tapped into a source who reports they overheard the statement "I think my penis is shrinking!" Our source also mentioned hearing "one-half inch (12.7mm)" but the remainder of the conversation was muffled. As Lambert exited the exam room Dr. Bush was jesting for Lambert to lay off the juicing and enjoy more ice cream.

Biggest Leeker’s coincidence radar was aroused by the most recent blog post from Lambert’s partner and Finnish reality star Sauli Moreskinin, who did not accompany Lambert on the appointment. He wrote about having part of their matching “OOFTA” tattoos altered.  The tattoos were immediately spotted on both men by fans and provided months of Twitter fodder discussing the possible meaning of the word. After a huge online survey, Tweeps voted with resounding confidence the string of letters must have something to do with Moreskinin’s reaction to first seeing Lambert’s junk.

Biggest Leeker interviewed a urologist in Los Angeles to get a professional opinion on why any male penis would shrink.  Dr. Deepan Long explained that in 98% of cases penis shrinkage is an illusion:

“Lifestyle changes can throw a man’s perception off. For instance, loss of belly fat in some patients can be quite a shock. Suddenly they can actually see their penis and it’s not as big as they remember."

"Also, when males reach milestone birthdays like 30, 40 or 50, they focus more on potential sexual problems. TV commercials plant subliminal fears."

 Dr. Long continued, "Men begin to pay more attention to things like how long they can hold an erection, how long it takes them to climax or how many times they can climax. They become obsessed with statistics and bring measurement tools into the bedroom. With the release of the popular new iPackage Analyzer app for the iPhone the number of concerned patients has exploded. The new app allows the user to upload a picture of a full erection. It calculates all dimensions and returns a comparative analysis complete with pie charts and geographical density data. Most of the calls we receive are simply from patients who forgot to change their personal settings since the app converts all its calculations to US or metric. 22.9cm is 9” in the US. So it’s easy to understand why a man overseas could be alarmed or why a man in the US thinks he’s ready to be a porn star.”